The Best Way to Stop Complaining

1. Realize the power and blessings of Allah in your life

The first chapter of the Qur’an (Surah al Fatiha) with which we begin every unit (raka’ah) of our prayer, is a programming of our soul to avoid the habit of complaining. It is so important to understand this surah, to make our salah more meaningful.

In verse one, we begin by praising and thanking Allah for our blessings because no matter what problems come our way, we are more blessed than somebody else. Even if we do not have shoes to wear, we do have feet to walk, if we are overwhelmed with illness, we are at least not paralyzed from birth. We are literally immensely surrounded by the blessings of Allah.

In verse two, we glorify Allah for His grace and mercy because, after temporary tests and trials, Allah is the One who grants us blessings and rectifies our affairs. In verse three, we declare that He is the King and all affairs are under His control. In verse four and five, we proclaim that to Him only we direct our worship and turn for help.

If we pray salah with khush’oo (attentiveness), then Surah al Fatiha will leave us with no grounds to complain. It will make us grateful to Allah for every blessing He has bestowed on us and it will make our faith firm in the qadr (predestination) and remind us of our purpose in life and destination afterlife, which will put life and its problems in the correct/unexaggerated perspective.

2. Complain to The Creator, not the creation

Sometimes our heart gets overwhelmed with worries and we need to let out some of it. Going around complaining and whining about our problems to people who have no authority to solve them will only waste our energy. Instead, we should adopt a habit to talk about our problems to Allah as He takes the burdens away and descends ease and peace upon the hearts of His created beings. If we must talk to people, we should talk only to those who can benefit us emotionally and provide aid.

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3. Make dua to change things

If you are having a tough time in your life then instead of complaining, make dua to the only One who can give you relief, the only One who can make the impossible possible. Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) said,

“Nothing can change the Divine decree except dua (prayer).” [Ahmad]

4. Fulfill your role

Whenever we face a problem in life, we must do three things. First is to seek help from Allah, the Controller of all affairs. Second is to do our part and try our best to remove the hardship, and third is to take help from those who can help us. When problems are encountered by the family or society as a whole, fulfill your role in solving it. Be the first one to inspire the change. In a hadith, it was reported,

Abu Barza reported: I said, “O Prophet of Allah, teach me something that will benefit me.” The Prophet said, “Remove harmful things from the roads of the Muslims.” [Sahih Muslim]

Here the Prophet is teaching that when you do something to help the society, it will benefit you eventually. It is like planting a rose whose essence spreads to all homes.

So to conclude, there really is no good in complaining. It destroys productivity, decreases happiness and increases anger, and can make you lazy and lethargic. As believers, Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) has instructed in various ahadith to avoid complaining and be content:

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” [Sahih Muslim]

May Allah make us all firm believers in the qadr, accepting it in all its forms, good and bad. Ameen!

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