Skip to main content


Are you and your spouse searching for a happy home?

Allah (SWT) says:

{And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.} (Quran 30:21)





These are things that most of us who are married do reflect on.

Some of us are wondering why these amazing things are missing from our marriage. And some of us thank Allah that we have found such blessings in our relationship. And still others go back and forth depending on the day.

I think most people, if they are honest, will tell you that marriage can be a source of peace, tranquility, mercy, and love if both spouses work at it. Like most wonderful things in life, a happy, healthy marriage doesn’t just happen. It has to be built and maintained.


Establishing a marriage based on the love of Allah and thereby a solid foundation between two people can be simple in the early days of a marriage, but is a pain if the structure is built and then you realize that the foundation work is shaky and needs to be redone. It is best to start with a good foundation.

Make your marriage an act of worship. Love each other for the sake of Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Allah shall ask on the Day of Judgment, ‘Where are those who loved for the sake of my Greatness? Today when there is no shade save Mine, I shall have them in My Shade.’” (Muslim, 2566)

Do things for each other to seek the pleasure of Allah. When we do things day after day for our spouse, we can often feel unappreciated and find the acts unrewarding. And after years of doing things for your spouse, many people find themselves resentful.

But when we do things, not for the sake of our spouse, but seeking the pleasure of Allah, our reward will never be lost. Allah is All Aware (Al-Khabir), the Most Appreciative (As-Shakur).


Once a firm foundation is established based on mutual love for the sake of Allah and seeking His pleasure, the framework for the marriage needs to go up. How will you run the house? Who pays the bills? Who does what around the house? Money. Work. Children. This is where the headaches and arguments come in.

It is inevitable for two people who are in a relationship to come to places where they disagree on how to move forward. Some people descend into rages or insults at the first sign of not getting their way. Some people even use manipulation or coercion to try to gain ground in disagreements. This only leads to hurt feelings and resentment, and a shaky framework for a marriage.

Argue with manners. I have relied on a verse from the Quran that is directing Muslims in how to give dawah to people who disagree with them in faith:

{Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.} (16:125)

But I find that arguing with manners applies in most situations when you are trying to get someone to see where you are coming from. And what else is an argument between spouses but trying to get the other party to see your side?

Pick your battles. Not everything has to be a life or death issue. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“A people did not become misguided after Allah had guided them, but they were aimlessly argumentative” (At-Tirmidhi, 3253)

Turning our hearts away from the deen of Islam is the worst thing that can happen to us in this life. So if needless arguing is this destructive in life in general, then think how destructive it can be to a marriage? Let some stuff go.

Be the first to apologize. The Prophet said:

“I guarantee a house in Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking / for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” (Abu Dawud, 4800)

Being the first to say you are wrong even when you know that you are not, not only guarantees you a house in Jannah, it also helps you disarm your spouse in an argument. By conceding, you are often create an atmosphere where discussion can take place openly and free from defensiveness.


The natural progression of a building project will tell you it is time to put a roof on it. You established a foundation build on the love of Allah, navigated arguments with manners. Putting a leak proof roof on seems obvious, but the materials needed are so simple they can often be overlooked.

Greet each other with kind words often. The Prophet said:

“I swear by the one whose hand my soul is in that you will not enter paradise until you believe. And you won’t be believed until you love one another. May I tell you something, that if you practice it you will love another, spread the (salam) Islamic greeting among you.” (Muslim, 54 a)

How can you not love someone who wishes you peace often and sincerely?

Smile at them often. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Your smile for your brother (or sister) is charity.” (At-Tirmidhi, 1956)

Your spouse needs your charity and a kind countenance to meet them.

Tell them you care for them. Don’t just assume they know it.

“If a Muslim loves his Muslim brother (or sister), he should inform him” (At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud, 383)

If you like to hear it, chances are, so does your spouse.

Look at your spouse with love. Prophet Muhammad said:

“When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah [will] look at them with mercy.” (Quoted in Imam Suyuti’s al-Jami` al-Saghir)

Who doesn’t need Allah’s mercy?


Once the marriage is built, the work is not over. Sometimes the roof needs to be replaced. Other times there is a crack in the foundation. Maintenance is a fact of life.

So continue to do all of these things in terms of loving for the sake of Allah, smiling, greeting with salams, arguing with manners, forgiving and admitting fault, and so on, making sure to put in the work when major overhauls need to be done.

And remember, that Allah tells us in the Quran:

{They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.} (2:187)


Popular posts from this blog


In the name of Allah, most compassionate and most merciful. “From among the signs of the Hour (end of time) are that religious knowledge will be taken away (by the death of religious scholars), ignorance will prevail, drinking of alcoholic drinks, and there will be a prevalence of Zina.” – Prophet (saw) We begin our topic with these words of our beloved Prophet. How true were his words? We live in a world where all these things are prevalent and unfortunately in our Muslim community as well. Many of our Muslim brothers and sisters are trapped in the evil of Zina and it has become a norm for them, as a result they don’t even consider it haram and unlawful. Allah says in holy Quran: Sūrah al-Isrā’, 17:32: “And do not even approach zina, for it is an outrageous act, and an evil way…’’ We are not going into detail about why Zina is unlawful but in this article, you will find the consequences of this sin. How this affects a life of a person physically, mentally, spiritually and so


It’s a sad day for all those who knew Ali Banat, the young man gifted with cancer. Ali Banat was an inspiring Australian Muslim philanthropist whose diagnosis of cancer motivated him to dedicate his life to charity work. “At this point in my life, Alhamdulillah I have been gifted by Allah with cancer throughout my body and I have changed my whole life to helping people,” he said. An Inspiration to Muslim Youth A man of a kind heart was known for his charity work over the past three years. One of his biggest achievements is MATW project, (Muslims Around The World) launched in October 2015 to assist those less fortunate in the poverty-stricken areas of Togo, Africa. He was an inspiration to Muslim youth, dedicating his big fortune to charity work. His organization built mosques and schools for the less fortunate in Africa. May Allah accept it from him! Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. May Allah have mercy on our brother Ali Banat and make it easy


Ali Banat is a sydney born who was diagnosed with Cancer and doctors have given him only 7 months to live. Despite his circumstances, he considers this a gift from Allah. Ali Banat, is a young man who, in his own words, was “gifted” with a stage 4 cancer throughout his body. He was given just a few months to live but took this great test as an opportunity to change his life. Upon receiving this news he immediately sold his business, gave up his lavish lifestyle and prized possessions and began a new mission to give up his Dunya and work for his Akhira. Ali has humbly dedicated the remainder of his life to helping those who are far less fortunate than him and in doing so, set up the charity MATW Project (Muslims Around The World) which has already changed the lives of so many. Being diagnosed with cancer is like death sentence for many. But this is not the way Australian Muslim Ali Ali Banat sees it. For him, the sickness is unquestionably a gift from Allah. “At this point in m