I once heard of a businessman who bought a certain airlines company which was not only incurring losses, but was in a huge debt. He bought it with one buck, and made a huge success out of it.
Is this a quality which people are born with, or can it be acquired through learning and practice? Like every other quality, it is to some extent a gift that people have, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn it. One of the greatest loses that we incur in our life is psychological pain. It is often worse than bankruptcy, worse than physical injury, especially its origin is hurtful behavior of our close ones. Is it possible then to convert this pain in the heart into profit?
Scholars of the past have said that it is, but of course it takes a lot of patience and practice.
1) REAP THE BENEFITS OF PATIENCE
The reward of being patient is so great it can’t be measured.
Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning. (Quran 39:10)
Allah is with us all the time, but there is a special kind of companionship of Allah that is enjoyed only by the patient:
And be patient and persevering: for God is with those who patiently persevere. (8:47)
It isn’t easy to be patient when it’s very easy to react rashly, but if we only take the first few difficult steps, it gets easier:
…and he who remains patient, Allah will bestow patience upon him, and he who is satisfied with what he has, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And there is no gift better and vast (you may be given) than patience. (Sahih Al Bukhari)
2) LESSON IN EMPATHY
When someone hurts us, we focus inward, we examine our hurt and feel sad and angry. This is in fact the best, but perhaps the most difficult, opportunity you’ll get of learning the art of empathy – putting yourself in others’ shoes. You have this injury fresh in your heart, and now try and imagine what another person feels who is in a similar situation.
Perhaps there were times when the situation was reversed, and perhaps you were the one who had, without meaning to, hurt the other person in the exact same way.
Try to move your focus outward, and realize that other people feel the same way when they’re hurt. You’ll get a new perspective into another’s viewpoint the next time you inflict pain.
3) REMEMBER ALLAH’S PERFECTION
No one is perfect except Allah. Every human being has certain strengths and certain weaknesses. Of course you’ll sometimes get hurt by others, it’s bound to occur if imperfect people communicate with one another.
The only One Who’ll always be there for you, always understand you, always want your good, is Allah. Being hurt reminds one how imperfect human beings are, and how perfect Allah is, and whom it is better to love and depend upon.
4) LEARN THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF PATIENCE: CONTENTMENT
This is the level where you depend on Allah completely. You’re sure that He is taking care of you and that whatever He does is for your best. Then you are, not only patient, but content and at peace. You are happy instead of depressed. You are in fact happy that you were inflicted by that particular pain, because even that pain is for your best. This is a very difficult level of Iman, but it’s not impossible to attain it, at least some times.
BUILD A NEW COMMUNICATION NETWORK WITH ALLAH
When you’re in pain and you make dua to Allah, that dua comes from the bottom of your heart. If we keep making dua, then soon we’ll experience something beautiful. We’ll feel a sense of connection with Allah by means of that pain, and perhaps soon we’ll be wishing that the pain never go away and break that connection.