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THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU ARGUING WITH YOUR HUSBAND

The Muslim woman must be clever in her dealings with her husband because man – commonly – is pleased with kind phrases and appreciates form treatment. So if that comes from his life-partner that will have a greater effect. The clever lady should also hold away from all sorts of behavior that will offend her husband, and rid her of each and every kind of action that annoys him and try no longer to manipulate him. The man has the position of qawaam (protector and maintainer), and the accountability is his. Making his sense that he is falling brief insures situations may make him irritated and now not deal with his spouse well. One of them said: two "The best wife is the one who knows how to create harmony in her marriage and strikes a balance between obeying and respecting her husband and expressing her own strong personality."

What is it that a man wants from his wife? What is the primary emotion that husband wants from his wife? Well, the primary emotion according to modern psychologists we will bring the Quran and sunnah later, the primary emotion that men want from their wives is that of respect. By the way, we will bring the Quran and Sunnah to demonstrate this reality. Allah (SWT) said in the Quran that men are qawam over the women, and qawam means to be in charge of. This is the literal meaning of the Quran. Qawam means one who will take care of the other, qawam means one who will be the one in charge. So what is the one in charge? The one who is shown respect and we have that famous hadith and no doubt this hadith is misused and abused and we have to point this out as well. But it is the famous hadith that when once Muadh ibn Jabal came back from Syria and he entered the Masjid of the Prophet (PBUH) and he fell down in sajdah in front of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said to him YA MUADH WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO TOLD YOU TO PROSTRATE ME? WHY ARE DOING THIS? So Muadh ibn Jabal replied I returned from Syria, I found people prostrating to their Rabbis and to their elders out of respect and I felt you deserve this respect more than those priests and those rabbis. What did our Prophet (PBUH) say it’s a famous hadith I should say it’s an infamous hadith. All of you have heard of it before I just want to remember you. But we want to be clear here that it’s not my job to apologize on behalf of what the Prophet (SWT) said. It's not my job to cover the up the teachings. Our job is to teach those teachings whether a person likes them or not. What did the Prophet (PBUH) say? Verily Allah has forbidden any human to prostrate to another human hadith is in Bukhari, Muslim. Abu Dawood & in Tirmidhi (clearly authentic) verily Allah has forbidden any human to prostrate to another human but if he was to have allowed this, if a concession were to have been made; there is no concession: if a concession were to have been made, I would have told the wife to prostrate to her husband, out of what? the respect and duty she owes to him.

Now, what is this prostration? It is the prostration of respect and does this signifies is that the wife should give respect to the husband and what will the husband give back? The husband will give back that love, that cherishing, that nurturing that the wife graves.

As far as man is concerned “husband has to fear Allah his Lord, and not transgress the rights of his wife”. He should give her rights as Allah has enjoined upon him. He needs to recognize that people range and that what he knows, many people are ignorant of, and what he is ignorant of, many humans know. For him to have a wife who will translate for him and show him what will benefit him and how things are accomplished is higher for him than having anyone with him whom he can't trust. Knowledge can only be obtained through learning, and the way to study is via striving and working hard.

Advise him to try to control himself at times of anger, and not to get angry unless you have transgressed one of the sacred limits of Allaah. This is the kind of anger that is regarded as praiseworthy.

Comments

  1. You right sheik thank for your donation in Islam.

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  3. Well,again I find the article very misogynistic because you didn't mention "All the hadiths"of the Beloved Prophet(s.a.w.w). i.e."The best of you are the ones who are the best to their wives". "Fear Allah regarding women." Most importantly you skipped a very important point here..and that doesn't come as a surprise,because after all, comparative religion is your speciality.. I am not a great daaee as you, but just to tell you what you missed, in Islam marriage involves "three people", not "two"...It involves "the husband", "the wife" AND "the offspring". You didn't mention this cardinal section. For example, here in the subcontinent(India, Pakistan, Bangladesh), Nepal, women put up with a lot of rubbish in the name of "respecting" their husbands.. But when it comes to the matter of their "children", then they are not just "a wife", but "a mother" also, and "as a mother" a woman doesn't tolerate anyone interfering with this unique capacity of hers, whosoever it may be, even if it be her husband. When a wife thinks like a mother, than she doesn't put up with any toxic behaviour that would rebuke her responsibilities towards her children..so yes marriage is a relationship and "relationships" are "mutual". It's not about "two narcissists" with big giant egos trying to pull each others leg.. Respect is important but respect is "earned." Women are not "dumb", "driven cattle" that men are feeding, they are "humans", "conscious" and "feeling beings." You speak of the Prophet(s.a.w.w) then you must learn at first how he was towards his wives. The Prophet(s.a.w.w) on whose shoulders lied such an immense responsibility...was alongside the best husband to his wives also. Who can be more conscious of Allah than Him? This was a man who would wipe the tears of his wives with his very own hands...do you know that? And here in our somewhat "Muslim communities" women spend ages in emotional isolation, what to say of villages, even in urban areas, trying to deal with traumas intense emotional traumas, while the husband walks around being a "so called great muslim". The saddest part is that people have separated "consciousness of Allah" from "being conscious of His Creation". It's a strange anomaly and it's weakening the roots of the entire humanity. Let's ponder. And do some research. Thankyou!
    (To myself) "Wow I should have been a social activist rather than a dentist." Hehe...

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    Replies
    1. It's not the guys who dont empathize with their wives but mother, sister are the one who are guiding them in the wrong direction. But again out of respect guys continue to follow their guidance so maybe it's the women who need to relearn that every woman wants respect, love, and caring.

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  4. My sister you are getting this all wrong , this lesson is about wife giving the required respect her husband deserves. Yes, some men depressed their wives in the name of respect but do you think Allah didn't know about it, do you think the wife will not be rewarded for her patient. This world is temporary, a very short time . It pains me to see women in the name of civilization will start questioning the Deen and making compromises .
    May Allah guide us. Ameen
    Thank you ��

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