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SUGGESTIONS AS HOW TO END THE ESTRANGEMENT BETWEEN DISPUTING RELATIVES



All praise be to Allaah.

Hatred and dispute among relatives is something that has to be taken seriously. Sometimes people tend to be harsh and rigid with their relatives because of reasons known or unknown. In many cases, the behavior is temporary and does not last long. It may have been caused by some particular incident that may have angered the other person but when things are back to normal their anger too is ebbed away and they are calmed down. After which people tend to go back to normal or close enough to normal.

However, there are some extreme circumstances where people prefer to hold grudges, hatred or keep bad attitude towards his relatives which results in long-term estrangement. In such a case, all parties must be given time to calm down gradually until their bad feelings are reduced. At the same time, the person who has cut off ties of kinship should be reminded of the rights of his relatives, what Allaah and His Messenger say on this matter, and the stern warning issued to those who cut off ties of kinship.

If any of the parties involved have been wronged, things must be put right as quickly as possible, and there is nothing wrong with trying to heal the wounded pride of the party that has been wronged, by apologizing or getting together for the purpose of reconciliation, etc., as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and adjust all matters of difference among you” [al-Anfaal 8:1].

We hope that the one who undertakes to reconcile between them will earn the reward mentioned in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning);

“There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allaah’s Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward” [al-Nisaa’ 4:114]

Sometimes it is better to avoid to reconcile between two groups until things have calmed down and people are ready to talk about it. They must be ready to accept and agree to reconcile and listen to those who want to reconcile between them and accept their suggestions.

We ask Allaah for guidance.

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